Welcome to a blog whos owner is only totally messed up and thoroughly perverse, but otherwise pretty
much normal and family friendly.
The Britney Spears of Japan
(as my mail friend Hiro calls him because he keeps drawing negative attention to himself)
This is supposed to be a short (right..) but in-depth profile of my favorite actor, Yosuke Kubozuka but it was too huge, so just visit:
You Are 4: The Individualist
You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence
You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks.
Your Career Type: Artistic
You are expressive, original, and independent.
People Envy Your Compassion
You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
You Are 84% Open Minded
You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!
Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISFP)
Your personality type is caring, peaceful, artistic, and calm.
Your Vocabulary Score: A-
Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary!
Your Mind is NC-17 Rated
You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap.
You Are Pretty Logical
You're a bit of a wizard when it comes to logic
So, eventhough, due to recent events, I really wasn’t in the mood for fun, I went to the Hagakure/Antifeminism concert in Brussels. After all, I already had a ticket.
When I arrived, some sort of nutcase girl came running towards me, screaming “HI JENNY!” or some other stranger’s name, gave me a bear hug which almost choked me and suddenly realized: “Oops, sorry, I mistook you for a friend, ohohohoho!” and ran off again. Next thing, I spottet Yuki. This could only mean one thing and it did – now Thigi was clinging to my neck, dangling off the ground and squealing like a cat in the microwave (this is a figure of speech. I have never actually microwaved cats). By the way, I think that’s cute. It’s a compliment. Sorta. And so we waited, and laughed and waited and posed for a silly “PIIIIIIIISU!” photo. Like anyone actually cares about peace. It’s not like we were going to see a peaceful band, that was for sure.
So the doors finally went open and YAY, I got in first! Me first, that’s how it’s gotta be! Thanks to Thigi, I was warned about those silly entrance stamps you get on your hand and gave my left. I wouldn’t want a PAYD stamp on my beloved Onmyo-za tattoo. And up the stairs we went. Up the shabby, dirty, dusty, creaking stairs into a shabby, dirty, dusty, creaking room with a shabby, dirty, dust, creaking and tiny stage. It was obvious that these weren’t major bands if this location was all they got.
The room filled up quickly and after buying a poster to get signed afterwards, I picked my spot at the left corner right in front of the stage. Yup, right in front of it. No barrier between the crowd – which was surprisingly big – and the 30cm high stage. This was going to be fun. Especially since photos were allowed, halleluja! I love taking pictures. To me, taking pictures if capturing memories forever. So I hate it being forbidden on most concerts and I usually have to sneak in as a fake journalist, sent by my dead cat who would then play the part of my “boss”.
It didn’t take long and the star came on stage. He was about my age and definitely not Japanese. It’s funny he didn’t spout any security advice but just told people to get his autograph. I liked that guy, he was so silly.
Well, finally that kid decided to scram and the real stars came on stage. With kitty ears and Mickey Mouse gloves. The drummer, Gajiro, looked like your traditional Japanese drummer, but then, a pussy cat came on stage. A big, hairy pussy cat named Leona and clad in red ninja gear. I decided I want that kitty (oh yeah, it was human by the way). That would be the bassist. I got a soft spot for bassists. Next, we got a… girl? Well, it looked like a girl, so I’ll assume Koro, the guitarist, is a girl. When the sanger came on stage, I was sure that was a girl, too, and believe me, after knowing that Mana is actually male, I’m not so easily fooled, but Kaya here definitely was a pretty woman – not. That was a man standing there, clad as one third miko (shrine maiden), one third lolita and one third Mickey Mouse. He came greeting the crowd by shaking their hands with his Mickey glove which looked quite funny, and talked more than he sang, it seemed. But that only showed his enthousiasm and I loved their show. For my personal taste, their music is a little too happy-sounding (I’m emo, remember. But I don’t slit). But it was still good and lots of fun.
And Leona, thank you soooooo much for standing right in front of my camera! How did you know my camera was in love with you? Too bad my big hairy kitty lost in the mock sword fight against Kaya who also gave a taste of Japanese theatre, all with traditional Japanese music in the background.
It was also hilarious how Kaya kept climbing down into the crowd, get himself group-cuddled and crawl out again with a big, satisfied grin and several female hands attached to mainly his backside.
Now, Hagakure’s music may not be completely my taste, but this is, like Onmyo-za, the kind of band I enjoy a lot for their charisma, their show and their members. It’s the kind of band that can make me come to their concerts just for having a good time, regardless of the music. I hope this is a comliment. It’s supposed to be.
Girlpower guitarist Koro
Kaya vs Leona
Then I was thinking – should I stay or should I go? I enjoyed Hagakure a lot and from what I heard on the net, Antifeminism’s music was even less my taste. The last time I listened to the Sex Pistols, was 10 years ago and I threw the CDs away. But on the other hand – a) I’m here, b) the singer seems to be a total goofball. I’ll stay.
I gotta say, their clothes gave me an idea of what to wear next. Red gang fashion, delinquent’s look. Yay! This was getting wild. Unlike Hagakure, this band required the fans to stand back a little. Yay. I did hope for Kenzi to set the room on fire – literally. H didn’t, but he still made me laugh. Sorry, yes, it was funny. Once he pulled of his potato bag mask, he smashed a double neon light over his mug and munched the socket and remaining glass. Yes, he was happily gnawing on glass to spit it at the fans. Luckily, I was standing in a corner far away…
Singer Kenzi and guitarist Nachi
And again, the bassist, named Kyouji this time, got me. I took so many pictures of him making silly faces I wonder can he be serious at all? LOL.
The two guitars were quite interesting, too. One, Tomozo, reminded me a lot of Malice Mizer, a tall guy in drag, while the other one, Nachi, was the complete opposite: a big punker who reminded me a lot of someone I know, but I can’t recall who exactly. But I liked the Nacho, pardon, Nachi.
But what I liked most, was what Kenzi came up with the keep the crowd going. After chowing down on neon lights, he set his hand on fire. I was filming and hoping the flame would jump over at the wooden floor, stage or ceiling. Yes, I’m twisted. But that didn’t happen. Still, this crazy band was a lot of fun to watch. Frankly, their music, uh well… But hey, they got me to stay, that means a lot.
Kenzi and his neon lights
And Tomozo sure knows how to play and pose at the same time. Doumo arigatou gozaimashitaaa!
So the concerts were over, but oh! A signing session! Yay! Gotta get my poster! At the merchandize stand, 3 sets of photos, €10 each, kept falling off the wall and I made a deal with the seller to get them for free when they fall again. So I kept making wind and sending my negative energy to those photos to fucking FALL goddamnit, but the Japanese camera guy kept hanging them back up. Damn.
But, better than photo sets, I got autographs from both bands ^_____^ YAY! They were really nice! It was just really funny when Kenzi asked for my name. “Anna.” – “Kanna?” – “Anna desu.” – “Oh. Hanna.” – “Anna desu..” – “Gomen *writes Hanna*” XD The wild ones are so adorable ^_^;
It’s funny how great a time I had although the music wasn’t what I’d buy on CD at all. I just enjoyed the bands themselves a lot. But, despite all fun including Thigi and Yuki, I had to go. I’ve left my dogs all alone since 6 in the evening and it was past 1 am. This was way too long, and wait, whoa…. Are there any trains left to Leuven?
When I arrived at the Central Station, exhausted from walking in those 6 pound boots, the answer was: NO. Took a taxi. Thank God I had my VISA with me. Jesus, that was expensive. But at least I got home before the neighbours would call the police to get my howling dogs and see what a mess my place was, and still is, in… whew.
The night ended with my dogs being annoying, my cats puking on my blanket (while I was sleeping underneath) and my feet aching like hell, but the concert sure was worth the aftermath.
Hagakure & Antifeminism, please come back soon ^__^
Live report of the Ore-sama, over and out
These photos are not to be used without permission! After the Gazette incident, I swear, I WILL sue.
Moshe still isn't back. It's no good, he's so fearless he'd jump in front of a truck just to challenge it. It's past midnight and I'm just home from another search, but what good is it to search for a black cat in the dark, when the cat is probably in some garage or backyard.
When Moshe was at a cat sitter's or I wasn't home, I often enjoyed the peace which reigns when Moshe isn't around. Because of Moshe, I can't sleep at night, he keeps making noise by behaving like a caveman with a club. Now I can't sleep because of this calm replacing him.
And I'm so confused. Instead of a roll of toilet paper, I take a can of cat food to the bathroom, I ran into Toya and even forgot to switch off the herd, almost setting the house on fire. When I hear a rustle or a meow, I jump. Moshe's my baby. He's been with me to Israel, Germany, France, Italy,...
Mii-Cat is feeling better. Starting tomorrow, she'll be taking (I'm afraid she WON'T) pills. It seems she hurt her toe and that's why she hobbled like a dying beast. She's so sweet, she seems to be worried about me since Moshe is gone. She hates him, but she feels how bad I'm feeling, so she follows me, even intercepts me outside. Meowing, as if she was saying, "You need rest".
I admit I neglected her since I have Moshe, but Moshe being constantly sick and getting in trouble, I have to pay alot of attention to him. But I still adore my Mii-Cat.
And I'd like to thank everyone who's thinking of Moshe at the moment. Eversince we got Moshe, lots of people got involved and followed his stories and silly antics. I've just started writing a book. Now I finished the foreword and the first chapter and Moshe's gone.
It's not only Moshe. I'm still thinking so much of Lottje who disappeared the day Toya was born, September 2nd 2004. I have no idea about what happened to her. Some asshole called me saying she lay dead in the ditch, but I don't believe him. He was laughing and immediately hung up, it was probably just some motherfucker's prank.
So if anyone living in Belgium or maybe even near Belgian borders, has seen this cat, please.....
Enter my home, welcome to my chaos. Enter but watch your step.
Yes, that is a fork next to the dog’s bone in my bed.
I’m not cleaning it up. I never lived to please you. I don’t even know you.
You don’t know me either, yet how dare you judge me?
You threaten to take away my pets, you say this place is too dirty for an animal.
This place is where a human lives, yet the real dirt is not on the floor.
The true dirt lies inside of me.
Inside of me, good and evil are entangled,
Inside of me, flowers drown in vital water.
Inside of me, there is shit more repelling than that beside the cat litter box,
Inside of me, don’t bother watching your steps as you’re paralyzed in darkness.
Enter my home, welcome to a place with no heating.
It’s freezing, so freezing I don’t take showers. Yes, what you’re smelling is me.
I’m not having the heating fixed, and don’t ask why.
Freezing in this dirty place is certain, unlike my hopes for better times.
So cold I don’t clean myself or this dirty place, the cold water hurts too much.
It’s so easy to take a mop and shine the floor, you say, you sheltered fool.
The sheltered fool who thinks he knows.
The sheltered fool who thinks he understands.
Nobody will ever know me.
Nobody will ever understand.
Whatever I try, a sad attempt to improve things temporarily,
What I will get is no more than fleeting joy of life.
Whatever I try and whatever I achieve, it will just vanish again,
So I rather not try at all and live in the certainty of this cold, dirty darkness.
Live in the cold, dirty darkness.
Cold, dark and dirty me.
Cold, dark, dirty me with no hope for improvement,
No belief in warmth, order or beauty, only more chaos, darkness, dirt.
Chaos, all around, oozing from and into me
Darkness in my mind, my soul, my thoughts of you.
Dirt, from and in my mouth and wherever I go.
Cold is my home, cold is my speech.
My hurting soul embraces this dirt, cold and chaos,
This wall between me and a world even colder, even dirtier and so lawfully chaotic.
I'm back from Eilat! And here's what I was doing, exposing my mother to lots of fear. You have to know that dolfins in an aquarium, observed from a safe distance and from outside the water, appear a lot smaller than they actually are. Plus, these are wild animals, friendly but not tame. Still, it's the greatest thing I know to swim with these animals and observe their natural behaviour. First time I saw a dolphin pee.
This is Yampa on collision cours, and successfully so. If you ever got a dolphin in your face, you know the force these animals have. And suddenly, not only Yampa but 3 more dolphins (a good deal larger than myself) were stuck to my sides. Me was scared. A bit.
About Moshe's table manners - or lack thereof -, which have improved lately. The other cat is Mii's daughter Mini(kui).
駅 の 前 に 人 が いっぱい
何 が おこったのだろう？
あっ ほら 見て 人 が しんでる！
血とまり に ねそべるまま空 をにらんでどうする？
空 じゃ ないって建物？
ああ、 あの 建物 なのか？
いちどう だけオレを見おろすやつらを 上から見たかった
それは、 神様 におとされくたばちゃったんだよ
駅 の 前 に がやがやが ためる
子どもがウルル、 おとな が ペラペラ
ねえ、 どうして 骸 としてうまれないのか？
骸 なら ちゃんと きずかれごしょうだいじにされてるんだろう
駅 の 外 に 雨 が ふる
血とまり を ながして
ここでねそべった 骸 を はやくわすれるように
駅 の 前 で くたばるのはこの人のゆいいつの
fifteen minutes of fame
This was supposed to be a funny short story to memorize some kanji, but it turned into a wannabe-songtext. Well, thusfar ©
There's a crowd in front of the station,
What's going on?
Whoa, look, there's a dead guy!
Sprawled out in a buddle of blood, what's he glaring at the sky for?
Ah, not the sky but that building?
So you jumped off that building, right?
Why did you jump?
At least once, I wanted to look down on all those who've been looking down on me.
Was it worth dying for?
Well, God dropped me, so I bit the dust.
In front of the station, the crowd is growing.
Children are crying, adults are rambling.
Even from the subway train, the chatting crowds are coming.
Is my crushed corpse that amusing?
You wanted to be seen, didn't you?
What good is it to be seen now?
You wanted to be noticed, didn't you?
I'd liked to be noticed, while I was alive.
I wanted to be seen, while I was alive.
I wanted to be noticed, during my lifetime.
Living as an invisible man,
Only to be seen once dead.
Say, why aren't we born as corpses?
When you're a corpse, you're properly being noticed and taken great care of, right?
It's raining outisde the station,
Washing away the puddle of blood
To make sure this man is soon forgotten.
Biting the dust in front of the station were this man's only
Fifteen minutes of fame.
Think about it.
Oh. My. God. Have you ever seen a kitten require complete anaesthetics - given through the trellis of a very narrow cage - just for a microchip? No? Well, my vet and I did. He took his rabies shot quite well, but when the vet tried to shoot the chip under his skin, he totally freaked out! Normally, that syringe pierces any skin, but Moshe's skin seems to be very thick Poor thing must have been hurting terribly!
So she sedated the critter who was screaming, scratching and biting for dear life after putting him in a cage which can be resized to hold the animal inside like a straitjacket but Moshe still freaked about! Well, when he finally fell asleep, he got his chip implanted
Why all this trouble? He's celebrating christmas in Israel, together with me mum and me I couldn't leave him all alone at his first christmas! He's just a baby, remember? MY baby! Thinking about leaving him at a cat hotel or wherever, got me nightmares in which I left Moshe all alone and something horrible happened to him every time
And he's still sleeping. He just peed down my lap in his sleep
Now to get my mum to accept this.....
I never mentioned this, did I.
Again, I didn't book any hotel in advance and was just glad to get to the front row! I met Thigi, whom I almost worked on a fanzine with 3 years ago and the people of Shikigami Club, Onmyo-za's Japanese fanclub. So, I got to chat with a bunch of real cool people before the concert started and also after it ended. Front row was cool! Ah and I loved the "Paari, paari, paari" song they made. In Berling, it was "Baarin, baarin, baarin"
Thigi Thigi and Yuki
In all honesty, I think the Eifeltower is a huge pile of ugly suckage. Waste metal. That night, I decided to hunt them down I asked at all the hotels if there was a group of at least 5 Japanese people. I finally found one and checked in. The morning after, I strategically sat down at a hidden corner in the breakfast room from which I could see who entered or left. Turned out those Japanese were salarymen So I took a sightseeing bus! From the roof of a bus you can spot people lots easier! I first excluded all places shown in the photo album of the previous tour since they've already been there. I saw le Sacrecoeur de Montmartre, le Tour Eiffel, L'Arc du Triomphe and a lot more but no Onmyo-za Did find a nice expensive looking mobile phone though
I didn't tell anyone I was going to Berlin as well, but hell how can I miss an Onmyo-za concert when they're so close?! That morning, I arrived at the hall at 10 o'clock. In the hall next door, Farin Urlaub, Die Ârzte vocalist, had already collected a huge waiting crowd of fans while I was the only one for Onmyo-za Until, half an hour later, she came. Mad Yukishiro. Mad indeed We fooled around alot and eventually, the Shikigami people came too, they still recognized me and I got to practice my skills in Japanese Finally, into the afternoon, the band arrived and Mad Yukiushiro took photos! Yay!!
The concert was even better than in Paris, even if I only got 2nd row Some reward for lining up at 10 in the morning
Anyways, afterwards I went to look for a place to stay with Yukishiro and a few others, but we ended up at the Bahnhofsmission, a place where lost travellers and the poor can spend the night for free. It was so cold I left though. But it was sooooo great!
Moe Wakaki, a Japanese idol. Shoulda taken her autograph
It's decided: I MUST go to all the concerts I can afford!
Thursday after college, I had to wait for my bus for another hour. So I took the other bus which stops 3 kilometers from where I live. My other bus would have stopped any minute, but I decided to walk the rest by foot, and thank God I did.
On my way, I came across a one-armed frog. A BIG frog. Almost as big as my hand! Since these critters gross me out, I checked to see if it was alive by pushing it with my foot and lookie there, he leapt, but not far. So I called the animal ambulance. "WTF? A frog? By the road? You wanna fuck with me, miss??". I did convince them to come, but by the time they arrived, the frog didn't move anymore The ambulance guy said he doubted the frog will live. I was so sad, I mean it was just a stupid frog, but still! I've waited by its side, in the cold, hoping he'll make it, so this kind of crushed me.
Well, two days later I met another animal ambulance employee and asked about the froggy his colleague picked up. Seems froggy is at the vet's, got his wound stitched up and is doing fine I was so happy! Good thing I walked!
Tried translating "Yugamu Tsuki" (Twisted Moon). Errors possible.
Auf dem Grund von kaltem Wasser
Liege ich als ob ich auf den Tod wartete
Wieviele Jahre sind wohl verstrichen,
Während dieser Körper bloß zerfällt.
Ich schaue den Mond an, der an der Oberfläche zittert
Mit einem Licht, so klar wie deine Gebeine, durchdringt er mich
Ah, mein Schrei verschwindet mit den Wasserblasen
Ah, durchtränkt von deinem vergossenen Blut
Ist meine Kehle noch immer rot.
Dich ermordet zu haben,
War die unerlöschliche Gier Urukos.
Der Mond ist verzerrt als würde er höhnisch lachen.
Hoffentlich zeigt er das Verschlingen meines Geliebten nicht auf diesem Körper.
Ah, wenn dies eine endlose Hölle aus Wasser ist,
Ah, dann möge sie in Urukos blutdurchtränkter Sünde weinend,
Das Leben aus ihren Lungen pressen.
Der Mond durchsticht alles mit seinem Licht,
Ob er wohl auch meine Leiche entblößen wird?
Ah, wenn dies eine endlose Hölle aus Wasser ist,
Ah, dann möge sie in Urukos blutdurchtränkter Sünde weinend,
Das Leben aus ihren Lungen pressen.
On the ground of cold water I lie,
As though waiting for death.
How many years may have passed
While this flesh is merely coming to dust?
I look at the moon trembling on the surface
With a light as clear as your bones, it pierces me.
Ah, my scream disappears in a bubble of water,
Ah, soaked in your spilled blood,
My throat is red even now.
To murder you,
Was Uruko's unerasable greed.
The moon is twisted as though laughing with scorn,
If only it won't reflect my devouring my loved on on this body.
Ah, if this is a neverending hell of water,
Ah, may it please choke the life out of Uruko, crying over the blood-soaked sin.
The moonlight pierces everything,
Will it also expose my corpse?
Ah, if this is a neverending hell of water,
Ah, may it please choke the life out of Uruko, crying over the blood-soaked sin.
...was awesome! I grew up in Bonn, which is the former capital of Germany and a beautiful city to visit. The AnimagiC is one of the largest anime conventins in Germany and I met lots of nice people there, mostly fellow Animexx users (some of who are my fans ). I took my dogs with me as well and they were the main attraction....
Cosplay was great, I took some nice shots. Myself I went as Kakashi on Friday, Akatsuki member on Saturday and as myself on Sunday.
Here's my Naruto cosplay gallery:
I'd like to thank again the people who helped me out by taking me and my dogs back to the hotel, by sitting the dogs while I was at Gazette, etc., I love you
I drew a nice piccie of Sasuke at one of the Wacom-tryout-computers, but it crashed before I could save it... shit.... oh well, wasn't that great.
Oh and thanks everyone for the conhon entries
Not to mention I met Ju-chan, DemonArakune and Artica again whom I met at Dir en Grey in Cologne earlier this year Nice to meet again! We walked to Gazette roaring and headbanging with me munching a watermelon, it was hilarious.
And, ohmygod, I married (as in declare husband and wife, as the parson) 2 Animexx users! That was hilarious, they simply asked "Can you wed us? We'd love you to!" (they're fans of mine ), so I declated them wife and wife, lovely!
Team 7 and ninja dogs!
I was also able to take some photos at Gazette on Saturday, but hell, the audience was insane. Infuckingsane I tell you. I was standing in front of the stage with the other reporters when I turned around to take a pic of the audience. What did I see? The jesusmotherfuckingchrist barrier was falling apart with hundreds of screeching girls ontop and underneath! We were evacuated by security because it became too tittyfucking dangerous. Girls do scare me. Ruki (the singer, mind you) collapsed and the band was dragged off the stage for a while because of this escalation. And Uruha, the not-so-smart guitarist, just kept telling the fans to keep on pushing - guess he wanted to see blood or something.
Still, the band, and both concerts, were totally awesome. I didn't know Gazette before but I'm a fan now
As for Moshe, he's doing great! His fungus is cured and he's grown so much. He's a very playful, cheerful little tomcat and the dogs love him.
Ain't he so cute??
He's been to Germany to celebrate my grampa's 80th birthday Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw I just love little Moshe!
When I went shopping to Brussels with me mum (I love me mum), I bought this big Israeli flag. I feel very attracted to Israel, I'm born there and my father and brother are Israeli. I feel more at home in Israel than in Germany actually, although my mum's German and I grew up in Germany.
So I bought this flag and hung it outside my first floor window. I want everyone, even in this underpopulated bumblefuck village, to know: I'm Israeli (or 50%), I love Israel and politically, I'm on Israel's side.
So today my doorbell rang and it was not the mail man with my order. It was a journalist from "Het laatste Nieuws" (the latest news), the national daily newspaper. She got curious about the flag and asked for an interview on my Israeli background (which is slim given I left the country at the age of 3 months), my views on the conflict with Pestine & Co., etc. So I told her all this, and later a photographer came to take pictures of me and my flag.... I felt kinda ridiculous posing in front of my door, but whatever.
I understand there are reasons to be pissed off at Israel, but stop attacking civilians. The lebanese katushas which fell on Haifa were a bad joke and almost killed my family. Please, dear terrorists, if you're so wild about killing, kill yourself. No one's gonna miss you. I guarantee.
Sorry but I'm so sick of getting this kind of news. "There was a bombing in front of our doorstep" from my family sucks. I hate it.
I'm back from my vacation in Israel where my friend and I were snorkling with dolphins and much more.... so.... we found that little blind sick kitten and successfully smuggled him to Belgium: he needs us. He's our baby. Abandoning him in Israel would have been so cruel.
Sue me all you want, this crime of smuggle was our most important mission ever and we don't regret it. See for yourself, isn't he the cutest thing?
Oh btw, his eyes are born like this. His inner eyelids are grown to the outer ones, but when he's gotten stronger, he can be helped by surgery.
So every day and night, he gets his eye ointment, and every other day, antibiotics. He's gotten much better though. First, he also needed laxatives and stuff. The vets in Israel were so touched they treated him for free!
Baby Moshe is very playful and lifely and I'm sure he'll become a great, strong cat one day!
How we found him
His first litter pan!
With my mum's 4-months-old tom Pal
In his Moshmobile
Ninken. What's a ninken? A ninja dog. Like Toya for example. It happened a week ago. Last Tuesday, 10:20, I was talking to Miyavi and we promised to meet after his concert.
Wha... Miyavi-kun.. wait....
Too late, I was wide awake and my sweet dreams were fucked.
"YEAH, COMING, SHUT THE **** UP!!"
I noticed I was topless so I picked up a random t-shirt from the floor, but when I put it on, I couldn't find the left sleeve - which was occupied by my head. So, looking like a scarecrow, I went to the window to see who was there, but....
The window was open. The curtains were still closed, but it was clearly wide open. And Toya was hiding under the window sill, silent, ready to attack that retarded burglar. I opened the curtain and saw.... 2 cops and a blonde hag.
"What do you want..?"
"I'm marshall Something, I've come because there's a social tax you haven't paid..."
"Gimme that bill, I'll pay allright. Gimme, and scram. How much is it?"
"€266, formerly €25 but we had to add appeal fees and stuff. Can we come in?"
"HELL NO YOU CAN'T, lemme wake up first...."
"Sure, get dressed first."
"STFU, bitch" <---I made sure she didn't hear that one, went back to the living room (where I sleep), hid my dirty laundry under the couch, got dressed and cleaned up a bit. The day before, I was a little pissy and tossed a wardrobe on the floor and it still lay across the room, quite a hindrance actually, but I didn't bother to pick it up. If those police wankers wanna come in and bother me, that they have some trouble. I mean, I'm fine with the cops paying me a visit (I'm used to it), but NOT with people waking me up!!! I wanna sleep!!!!!! Before I let them in, I loaded my gun just in case they were gonna impound anything valuable, put it in my pants and let them in.
Not only the trashed wardrobe made my place look a little scary. I'd also impaled a dagger in the hideous excuse for a face of Yasser Arafat who was on an election poster on my wall.
When she showed me the bill I owed the state or whoever, she added, " But please do call back for the exact amount as the locksmith who opened your window has to be paid as well."
WHAT THE!? I didn't ask no locksmith to manhandle my window, so why should I pay, huh??
The cops were still standing in the hall, keeping the door wide open. I told one of them, "Hey, close the door or else my cats run out on the street. In or out, but close the door or else you'll end up just like that wardrobe, buddy."
Idiot ignored me. Only then, they noticed Toya. Sure, a big dog with tiger stripes doesn't stand out, now does he?
Marshall Bitch: "Whoa, there was a dog?!"
Me: "Yeah, he was waiting for the right moment to attack all the time while you were knocking and screwing with my window."
Marshall (pale and meekly): "But.... we've been knocking and calling for about fifteen minutes and we didn't hear a dog bark."
Me: "Of course not. Why should he? Wouldn't it be stupid to warn a burglar? A burgler is to be disposed of, period. It's a Japanese ninja dog: fast, silent and clean... well, not really clean. He once messed up a burglar so bad I had to wipe the floor. Bastard bled allover the place!" (that's a lie)
Marshall: "Really...? But.. but if you hadn't come, we'd have climbed in through the window.."
Me: "...and been torn to shreds. Guns are no good against an enemy you don't see "
Me: "And next time, come at midnight when I'm awake. You're really being troublesome!"
Marshall: "We're sorry."
Me: "Oh really? Then get out!"
So she goes to the living room to note everything valuable to impound. I closed the door between the two of us and the cops. Harrharr, we're finally alone. I'm gonna rape, butcher and eat her alive. I see her note:
That was when Miyu, still locked up in her crate, commented on the scene with a "Mooh!"
WHAT THE!! No impounding my little Miyu-baby!!!
Before I could get my samurai sword from under the couch, she gave me the bill and left. Outside the neighbours were gaping
Oh well, appears they had no right to do this. They didn't even have a warrant. I could have slept another few hours. Bastards.
I want to thank everyone who supported me with smaller and larger sums of money eventhough none of you know me or have a reason to help me. I really appreciate it and will always keep this in mind! You've shown me that people aren't all selfish. Thanks so very much!
I'm currently working on a huge lot of commissions, mostly dog-related, but please don't hesitate to give me another commission as long as you can wait
Today I taught Miyu to lie down. But there was a small misunderstanding at first. When I made her lie down and rewarded her with a cookie, I repeated "Down!" to make her understand: her current pose was "Down". But she got it all wrong and thought the Down was referring to her chewing the cookie! So she made chewing motions everytime I said Down! So cute Now she got it right, but when she lies down, she hits my feet with her paw-paw, she's just adorable!!