I'm back from being someone else. So here I am again, writing my blog. You don't have to comprehend

So. In September, I successfully passed the entrance exams for Erasmus College, departement RITS, a film school. I'm aiming at script & direction and acting. I'm surprised I made it, I mean the 3 minute movie we had to prepare was only rearranged and resubtitled, not entirely produced by me. You can watch it here This is your Child. Though... it's hard to make a poker-faced jury laugh and they did laugh  And they also wanted a picture series about Brussels, a creativity test etc. and I somehow passed.
My new class is quite cool although there's over a 100 people and I only know about 5 or 6 names... I gotta get up at 5am to be there on time... everyday, transport costs me so much...

And while having dinner with my classmates, my bag, my MP3 player and my fucking wallet got stolen. Just great.

I have to make 5 short films now. One about myself, one about male/female, one about "passion" and 2 of free topic choice. HELP! School has started this damn Monday and we're already smothered with work

The one who got me to finally do what I've really always wanted to do is no one else but Yousuke Kubozuka

★☆★☆★☆★

Also artistically, I've improved like a motherfucker

★☆★☆★☆★

FOR SALE!!

Ticket for concert The GazettE (J-Rock) in Cologne on October 21. Tickets sold out. Bid to win!
eloim_essaim@hotmail.com

I'm back from AnimagiC 2007 and it was so damn boring! Coulda saved the money. Outside I met one of my biggest fans who even cosplayed my character Yuuki once. I'm still really flattered, I mean cosplay costs time, energy and money and she did it for MY character  Her she is, though not as Yuuki this time:

As you can see, I also had the dogs with me but I parked them at my childhood friend's friend. Myself, I stayed at Ma-chan's, where I met his nice family and crazy Basenjis. Was the first time I got in touch with this breed and they were hilarious  And Ma-chan treated me to the Plastic Tree concet, they had their 10 year anniversary - and we wondered, how could they survive that long with such a bad singer? I mean really, he was cute and all, but he could not, I repeat, NOT sing!

Sunday morning, 8 o'clock, was the last time I sat. Eversince, I stood. 10 hours non-stop, in the rain. No food, no drink. Why?

Miyavi!!!!!!!!! God I love him! Really, when he came on stage, I felt like electrocuted in a good way. I just stood there:  He was (and still is) the perfect blend of beauty and elegance but also chaos and punkishness. I stood in the first row, that's why I stood in line so long. After gaping in awe and amazement, I was transformed into a screeching, sing-along fangirl  I don't think I ever went out of my shall that far and I just knew he'd make this happen to me. He is like that, he radiates so much positive energy that he makes people around him happy. That's why I also gave him a box of Belgian chocolates  Hey, do almost 10 seconds of grinning eye contact mean anything? lol  Also, he was really concerned that his concert goes on smoothly, not like other bands who don't care. He went "Please don't push. Get one stap back. Look, I'm here. I won't run away. Okay?". And I managed to grope him  He put on an awesome show together with the Kavki Boyz. 2 hours of real great fun! I really wanna see him live again, he's incredible! I almost cried at some point, dunno why...

And lookies my new cash card:
 

What I got myself on eBay:

 

Why, oh why, does he have to look like my father (did):

My 24. birthday sucked and my credit card didn't even allow me to enlarge my Yousuke Kubozuka collection

A few days ago, Katzu got hit by a car. Caught it in the head but he'll be fine. His eye looked real bad, swollen to twice its size, buldged out and all blood-shot and it's stitched shut now, but it can probably be saved. And even if it can't, I had a dog and a cat who were both hit by a car in the head and lost their lives, not one eye.

Decided to stop cursing people and become so that I don't need to curse myself.

• This is totally adorable!!!

D.N.Angel - Byakuya (white night)

Become the wings
That tear through the white darkness
Which shines so bright it's sad.

A cold sun shines down on me
And I have a tame freedom.
In the miraculous night reflected in the mirror,
My soul starts to take its mask off.

On the other side of the crumbling wall,
Despair and hope have the same face.
As long as my heart can't get enough,
I can fly, to the prologue of the end.

In a world where the wind blows like a blade,
What is it that I am to protect?
While experiencing pain bit by bit,
I approach the real "me"...

Disappear, fake light and be born, true light!
In these hands of mine....

Break through the white-dyed night
And keep creating a new era.
With a free heart, fly forever
In the neverending white night.

You can easily interpret this song as follows:
The wings may be fantasy and dreams, the white darkness is this boring life disguised as ever so great by media, cosumism and society itself. So the fantasy and the dreams struggle to let you break free from this fake great world.

The cold sun is a peaceful, easy, yet meaningless and empty life. The tame freedom is the freedom society and or growing up allows you to have - close to none if you compare it to that of children. You get limitations, rules, constrictions. The mask of the soul is the you who accepted all this meaninglessness and the face that appears underneath belongs to the you starts to realize that this sucks.

The crumbling wall is your illusions and your innocence that adulthood takes away from you and on the other side, everything is so uncertain. The never-satisfied heart is the dreaming child still left inside of you who looks for new illusions and new innocence to hold on to so you don't lose to this vapid adulthood.

The wind blowing like a blade: wind is usually something pleasant when used in poetry and songs. But this wind blows like a blade, it hurts, it tries to force you to accept this world and think it's great but in reality, it hurts and hinders you. By approaching yourself by getting to know pain, it's meant like this: pain of deception, betrayal, shattered illusions, impossible dreams. This pain rubs reality in your face and you're starting to see what's really left of you once the pain has taken all the beautiful lies from you.

Disappear fake light and be born, true light - "Don't dream you life, live your dreams". That simple. In these hands of mine: make it happen youself!

The last paragraph may simply mean: keep on clinging to your dreams and fuck this empty reality.

I like this song alot, I got all versions of it. It's a shame D.N.Angel is such a boring anime. The character of Dark Mousy had lots of potential but simply didn't fit in to that cute world. But this song is really nice.

I can't guarantee I translated those lyrics correctly. Japanese is tricky.

stuff 2 enjoy or whutever

Work in progress: Yuuki, no reference used. click thumbnaisl for bigger view
 

Takashi, Jessie, Wacky, Kenken and Endanger. color pencils, done on the train

made this for a friend and his website:

I call this a horror trip. And someone actually asked me if the cocain was going in his ass. NO it is not, thank you. It's holding him back by his pants.others: Dobermann Yamai holding the rope, Makoto ignoring him, the dentist back for revenge, Kyoichi...

Dobermann Yamai and Ikaru

Work in progress: Takashi

based on true events

Takashi vs. Kyoichi. Makoto does the judging

My masterpiece: "Honesty"

this dude is simply fucking awesome. Look at the icy cold look on his face and at the same time, the immense force in his hand.

fuck life's so goddamn boring. Boring!! Too boring to eventry and write decently. I mean, I'm seeing that shrink because I know thereÄs smoething the fuck wrong with me but he tells me: "you're fine". I am so not .who else neglects their life and waits till something happens all by itself like that? who else lives in a junk yard stuffing their face while they need to fucking lose weight?

I feel like a zombie, can't call this "alive". got depts, more than €4000.... haha and no money. A matter of time till the impounding company comes and empty my home when I'm not there, so nobody will stop my dogs from getting shot by the cops who'll come too. fucking awesome.

Lookies here, new video. man gang war is so awesome, I want too!

my new video site: Ore-sama's Cinema

ooh man and fuck, no money to go to Japan. I really haver to see Onmyo-za in concert on my birthday - in JAPAN. ANd visit a friend. And hunt down my future. But nooooooooo i don't hvae a goddamn job. Why? Dunny. My scary face. too old. too dark. YES you read that right, too fucking old! I'm turning 24!!!!!

my back aches. and Brussels is full of shit. No decent conduct, mostly illegal immigrants and police won't do nothing. If anyone agrees that this must change, contact me.

and ah I'm bored and uninspiored. it's terrifying to feel like you're wasting away. I wanan go to Japan, damnit.

Rock Werchter? sucked. All those primitive monkey folks getting drunk to harrass you. there were entire groups insulting me, singing something about me and "for everyone". Metallica was boring.

tits

I like chocolate milk.

but I don't drink no chocolate milk, I'm trying to loose weight but I don't although I eat fruits and veggies instead of sweets and I even fucking excercise but I don't lose no freaken weight???????? then give me back my sweets.

it's so boring, this gotta be what lying in a grave feels like. If I didn't have thsoe pets to take care of, I'd join the IDF and blast Pestinians ,or at least go out in Brussels.

Oh someone offered me €20 for sex. Nice to see what you're worth. no wait, I said €20 and he accepted., LOL

Heres something I'd love to be doing. Not sketching, but what Kyoichi and Takashi are doing or about to do:

Life in belgium is nice. no family, no friends, no home, no job. I don't exist. Ahahaha I don't exist, I'm a ghooooooooooooooooooooooooost.

A few Animexx rejects for you to enjoy.

 

★☆★☆★☆★

Last Tuesday, I had some errands to run in Brussels. Returned rather exhausted and boiled some potatoes. Had to fetch some water and asswipe at the supermarket, but since those were hard-cooking potatoes, I left them on the cooker. Came back, potatoes were still hard. I was so damn tired I went up to my room, checked my eMails and got... more tired. Lay down in bed, fall asleep. Four hours later, I wake up, go downstairs. Remember the potatoes. Oops. The cooker is useless and so is the pot.

 

 ★☆★☆★☆★

lol so fitting to the topic above

★☆★☆★☆★

Ah, I miss this.

★☆★☆★☆★

Good night.

Humans are like trash cans.
The wider you open your heart, the more crap people toss in it.
And the purer your heart is, the dirtier it gets.

From "Under the same Moon"

 

ROFL this is so funny! my neighbour and I are both listening to Numa Numa at this moment and I ran into my cousin on my Space

Moshe stealing my camera

 

Miyu? Begging? Noooo not at all

Totally NOT!

 

Lazy critters....

 

Yours mine truly.

Well, seems like I'm always some evil genius... which is true, except I dunno how to put it to use  But these quizzes, ummm like, they're so damn random...

You scored as Light Yagami, You are Light Yagami [Kira] . You want to create
a world with no evil and you are very smart.

Which DEATH NOTE character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

 Hmmmmmm kinda accurate too......

LOL so not true XD

 

ROFL yup kinda. Except for ummm dildoes... I prefer pitchforks! j/k This was a quiz of who's your best sex partner XD NOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELP!! Not this girly lunatic!

Now here's a good hit.

Damn Youtube and damn TBS (Tokyo Broadcasting System, Inc.)  Motherfuckers deleted all my videos  
I mean, like how am I infringing copyright by creating something nobody can buy? I understand them bannind anime episodes, promotion videos and stuff like that because it can - and should - be legally bought and not provided for free. But a fan video with random scenes and dialogue covered by music, how does that harm them? I mean, isn't it more like a promotion? For example, my I.W.G.P. fanvideos actually made people buy the legal DVD! And this is how they thank me? Are fans still allowed to be fans? I doubt it.

With pain in my heart and tears in my eyes, I'm selling my ROCK WERCHTER festival ticket which is valid for all 4 days. You can do local pickup or have it shipped, whatever. Bidding starts at 180 euros. For all information about the bands and stuff, go to the Rock Werchter website.

 

Okay guys - WHAT can I sell you so that I can accumulate enough money to go to Japan this year?

These?
CELS
dA Prints
Various prints, doujinshis
More prints

I'm also selling anime action figures including Naruto Premium Sculpt Chidori Kakashi, Kyubi Chakra Naruto, Fire Shuriken Sasuke and Sandhand Gaara. $25 each.

Kenshin, complete series on DVD, english subs. $120.

Or my soul? Is that what you want?!!?!? A piece of my goddamned SOUL!???!?!?!??!?

 

And we got 6 members, okaaay

Piccies:

I'm selling my cel collection and a whole lot more! Please check these out:
CELS
dA Prints
Various prints, doujinshis
More prints

And we got 6 members, okaaay

*squeals*

 

★☆★☆★☆★

I may get to spend a whole day with Vntifeminism and Hagakure at their next live in Belgium  They need a Japanese-speaking "roadie" kind of thing. 's gonna be FUN!

Then, Rock Werchter... I got my combi ticket for all 4 days after all

And spend the last weekend of July in Bonn at the AnimagiC and the Miyavi concert

And in September, I hope I can go to Japan and meet Hiro and drag that other guy out of his hiding place. I'm prepared - are you?

And between all these, if Miyu isn't pregnant after all, I'll go to Israel, visit my family and go diving with the dolphins

Aaaaaaw but somebody interested in animation cels?
http://ore-sama.bravejournal.com/entry/23932 I totally need the money for my over-important!!!!!!!! trip to Japan, so if you want a cel by the beginning of summer vacation, act now 

.•*•.ஐ ¤ ஐ ¤ ஐ ¤ ஐ ¤ ஐ ¤ ஐ ¤ ஐ ¤ ஐ ¤ ஐ ¤ ஐ ¤ஐ.•*•.

 

My new tattoo (as in "as soon as I get the money for it"). Created all by myself, no reference used. So I'd appreciate if it'd only end up on MY skin As for the writings, "Hate me, rape me, kill me - fulfill me", they originate from anothre drawing of mine where they were a tag on a wall. The "rape me" part has gotten quite some disturbed resonance, so I'd like to clarify that "rape" in this case does not represent "sexual abuse". Rape can also refer to invading one's privacy, forcing one to do things they hate to do, disrespecting someone's basic needs (privacy, own opinion, attention to what they have to say,...). It can also refer to being done great injustice and not being allowed to defend against it. So basically, "rape" doesn't always have to mean "to fuck someone", but can also mean "to fuck with someone".
The phrase as  a whole can represent many meanings:

• I'm dirt to you so go on and treat me like dirt.
• I'm helpless, so I'll just let you have your way with me because fighting won't do any good
• I'm indifferent about what you do to me because I don't give a fuck anymore
• Fulfill my need for attention, even if it's only negative attention you can give me
• Fuck the world for fucking (with) me.

...many meanings.

★☆★☆★☆★

Taken Miyu to the vet today to have her echoed for pregnancy. Seems like we're not gonna have any puppies. Am I supposed to be relieved or disappointed? Dunno, all I know is Miyu took good advantage of my feeding her more generously in case she was pregnant. Gained 8 pounds

★☆★☆★☆★

 

★☆★☆★☆★

And we got 6 members, okaaay