Ooooooooooooooy... I suffered.

Outside, there's 5 to 20 inches of snow. Ofcourse I was happy and took dog and camera to take a walk and lots of pictures of the snoooooooooow

When I retourned, however.... key? Key-sama? Where are you? KEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH! I lost it in the snow!

So I went all the way back, searching for my keys. But meanwhile, new snow has already covered up any tracks and I couldn't find my key anymore.

I could have called friends, but who'd pick me up with that dog of mine?? Most of my friends have dogs themselves = carnage. And those who don't won't want a dog to visit, either. Plus, today I look like crap.

So what. My landlady who lives nearby, has a spare! After all, she walks in and out of her renters' houses (only not mine, because of the dog). But... NOT HOME

So what. I'll just go through the neighbour's yard and climb over the fence. Wait. How am I to climb over 7 foot fence and also toss my dog over it if I'm already too stupid to climb a horse?? Well, it's worth a try. He never closes the gate.

Except this time

So what. Let's just smash the door! But wait. What shall we do with a drunken sailor shattered door? Doesn't matter. It's cold. AI CARUMBA!

Et voila, there I lay, in the snow. Because I forget the threshold was slippery and covered in snow

So. Let's smash the window! But wait. What shell we do with a shattered window? So I just pushed and... YAY! It opened!

So I picked up Toya who weighs 30 kilos, and... didn't get him high enough to toss him through the window. But that dog's too damn heavy  Groaning and moaning, I ruined my back by surpassing all limits and tossed him in.

Then I pulled up my leg to piss at the door climb in, too, but had to admit defeat. I'm not a lightweight, and this obstacle was too high
BUT! There lay a chair behind my door. A metal chair with lots of squiggles. So brilliant me got an idea: called Toya and he returned to stand on the window sill, still wearing his collar and felxi-leash. Removed both and holding the collar in one hand, I threw the leash at the chair where it got caught in the squiggles. Pulled and there it was, chair-sama

Pulled that heavy chair out of the window and climbed on it. Then climbed through the window to land face-first in a cat-pissed newspaper

Now I'm back inside, but I had to explain to the cops that I'm not a goddamned burglar but a lost-my-keyer. They laughed their asses off

And so do you, admit it